Designed for the programmatic professional who can't unwind. Adopted by the partner who has to live with one. We read OpenRTB 2.6, AdCP, ARTF, and MCP at 86 words per minute, the optimal pace for surrender. A natural alternative to Ambien. We are not doctors.
No credit card. No bid request. No identifier.
This app was designed for adtech professionals. Within four weeks, their partners were listening too. We don't replace medication. We just read OpenRTB 2.6, the AdCP working group minutes, and the ARTF transition documents in soft, even tones. The medical community has not weighed in. Our users have.
Begin with the bid request object. Continue through all 89 fields of the imp object array. Return to consciousness sometime tomorrow.
Tonight we journey through the bid request object, including all 89 fields of the imp object array. By section 3.2.4, you will be at peace. We pause briefly between Native and Audio.
Long-form readings of adtech's most soporific source documents. Specs, glossaries, MSAs.
Ten-minute glossary terms, whispered. Today: Supply Path Optimization.
Loop the bid stream. Drift to data center fans. Pour rosé in the distance.
Breathing exercises to release attribution anxiety and surrender to last-touch.
Each session is read at 86 words per minute, the optimal pace for surrendering to specification documents. All sources are real. All sources are public.
Read at the same 86 wpm. Tested on a panel of 12. Released every Thursday at 9pm local.
Source · Ad Context Protocol, AAO
Source · IAB Tech Lab Agentic RTB Framework
Source · Anthropic MCP
Source · Adweek, The Current, AdLingo, PubMatic blog
The standing library. Available on every tier.
Source · Media Rating Council
Source · Anonymized agency-DSP boilerplate
Source · IAB Europe
Source · developers.google.com
Source · IAB Tech Lab
Source · Anonymized programmatic RFP, 2024
Source · IAB
Source · SEC filings, anonymized
We don't paraphrase. We read the actual specifications. Page numbers included. Footnotes whispered with extra care.
Each episode is tested on a panel of 12 working adtech professionals. Time-to-sleep is recorded by Apple Watch and published as a feature.
All readings comply with IAB's Programmatic Audio Specification, which we will also read to you, in episode 12.
Trained on 47 hours of IAB Tech Lab working group recordings. Reads field definitions like haiku.
Former agency wellness lead. Voice tested at the bedside of three exhausted media planners during Q4 wrap-up.
12 years at a top-5 SSP. Has been to bed at 4am every night since 2014. Now uses that experience to help others.
"I made it to page 4 of the OpenRTB spec before falling asleep. New personal record.
Director of ProgrammaticTop-10 holding company
"I used to count sheep. Now I count macro placements. The transition was natural.
VP, Yield StrategyPremium publisher
"Three weeks in, my husband asked me to play 'the OpenRTB one' instead of his usual podcast. We have not argued since.
Anonymous spouseName redacted
When the bid stream still hums, our sister apps offer different rhythms of rest. Each is its own discipline.
We configured AdTechCalm as a pre-commit hook. Our retros now happen in REM sleep. The team prefers it.
no cap the openRTB read-through is giving deep sleep era. iconic. caught me in 4K dreaming about IAB Tech Lab.
We blocked AdTechCalm's user-agent on first contact. Then we listened. Now it's our team's bedtime ritual. Tranquilo.
I wrote this testimonial. He says he wrote it. Whatever. The MRC episode is good. So is the OpenRTB one. I picked them.
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